Funny Jokes

A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean.
The audience would be different each week, so the
magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and
over again.
There ...

Little Johnny woke up in the middle of the night and went to
the bathroom. On the way back to bed, he passed his parents
room. When he looked in, he noticed the covers moving. He
called ...

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would ...

An old Wild West fort is about to be attacked. The wily old General sends for his trusty Indian Scout.
"Yumti-Bi," he said, "you must use all your thirty years of skill in trying to estimate ...

Some people are very bossy and like to tell others what to do, but don't want to soil their own hands.
They are called "Dick Tators"
Some people never seem motivated to participate, but ...

A small guy goes into an elevator, when he gets in he notices a huge dude standing next to him. The big dude looks down upon the small guy and says: "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound ...

A guy walks up to a beautiful woman in a shopping mall.
"Excuse me" he says "But I've lost my wife here somewhere and I can't find her. Could you please help me?"
"What do you need ...

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He's got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?"
"Sand," answers Juan.
The guard says, ...

In the bar at the top of the Empire State Building there are two men sitting together. Guy #1 says to Guy #2, "I bet you that I can jump out of that window over there and come up those stairs in just ...

"The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
"So, you don't know how fast you were going. ...